


Aquatic Genealogy

by parallelanprincess



Series: Disney Oneshots [8]
Category: Disney - All Media Types, Disney Princesses, Hercules (1997), The Little Mermaid - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Drama, Femslash February, Genderswap, Herakles Is Female, Humor, Romance, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 00:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13799676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelanprincess/pseuds/parallelanprincess
Summary: Meg and Herakles are called in to settle a family dispute involving a certain wayward princess.





	Aquatic Genealogy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Violet Wreaths](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13397466) by [parallelanprincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelanprincess/pseuds/parallelanprincess). 



> I give you: CRACK! Crack that arose out a desire to write a sequel to my Hercules femslash. This is very self indulgent and dialogue heavy. It exists because I want it to. Also, because I love me some good femslash. 
> 
> In this canon, Meg is basically a lost soul who was condemned to several centuries as Hades' personal assistant as punishments for crimes she committed while she was alive. I distinctly call her a spirit of vengeance. So that's what makes it an AU.

It went without saying that the gods were royally screwed up. A dysfunctional family that possessed powers mere mortals could not fathom. If it wasn't one thing on Mount Olympus it was another. Narcissus stole Aphrodite's comb, Hermes was running late, someone left the ambrosia out and now it was spoiled. Meg was beyond tired of hearing Hades bitch and moan whenever he went upstairs for a family meeting. You'd think the god of the underworld would be more mature about that sort of thing. When Meg signed her soul over she didn't agree to be his personal therapist.

“Everything is going perfect until Poseidon swims up with his tail in a snit. He interrupts the whole thing to talk about how one of his granddaughter's is going through a rebellious phase. Hello, we're tryin' to figure out this Ragnarok thing those Norse weirdos are talking about. See, this is why I never had kids, Nutmeg. You give 'em an inch they take a mile,” Hades ranted.

He was on a roll, his flame flaring up with each sentence. Meg was half listening. Last time she went to the world of the living she grabbed a copy of Arabian Nights. She wanted a nice evening of quiet reading and contemplating an eternity of servitude. Instead she got Hades drastically cutting into her Meg Time.

“So this little mermaid of his is all up in arms over some prince. I mean, I don't see what the deal is personally. If Princey wants some fish food he can go get it. But Triton's pissed off about the whole thing which means Poseidon won't let it go either. Which means Zeus is spinning it as some sort of big family emergency.”

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Meg drawled. She was finally at the part where Aladdin met the genie. Trapped in a cave full of gold and this guy goes for the dusty lamp. What an idiot. Meg would have filled her pockets ran for it.

“Except it's not. Everyone's all tied up in this like the Gordian Knot. Aphrodite is putting the blame on Cupid who threw Eros under the bus. Then Amphitrite wants to be stepmom of the year and try to talk to this ditzy kid and that went over swimmingly.”

Whoa, the genie was doing a song and dance number. There was even sheet music with accompanying lyrics. Could this be played on a harp? No, maybe a flute.

“Can't we get together for a nice chat without someone dragging their kids into? Stop canoodling with mortals and leaving all these demigods lying around. I don't care about your brats. I care about us being pushed out of our turf by those Roman pricks.”

“Why don't you go talk to her? Make her see the importance of family. Or obedience. Or whatever you're crying about. Preferably within the next hour. I'm getting to the good part.”

Hades blasted the book out of her hands.

“What gives? I actually paid for that!” Meg yelled.

“You know what? I think what Ariel needs is a strong, female role model. Someone she can talk to one on one.” Hades was smiling. Never a good sign. Usually a sign of Meg having to do actual work that didn't involve kicking souls back into the River Styx. 

“No. No way, no how am I going to the bottom of the ocean.”

* * *

 

“Bottom of the ocean, huh?” Herakles asked.

“Shut up and drive,” Meg said.

They were on the back of Pegasus flying towards the location Hades gave her. Traveling by spoiled, winged horse was convenient. Meg got to soar high in the sky, leaving all her baggage far beneath the ground. Herakles was always eager to whisk her off to someone exotic location. China, Maldonia, anywhere under the sun. Giving up on dating guys was Meg's best decision.

“I mean, I can hold my breath for a long time. I could totally go down.”

“Yes, you can. Sometimes I worry you're going to drown in my-”

Pegasus gave a huff of disgust. Cockblocker. Herakles was talented with her mouth. It was a compliment. Pegasus sat them down on a beach. The place looked deserted, the only sign of human life a rotted sail boat floating in the shallows.

“Alright, now we do the fun part,” Meg said.

“What's the fun part?” Herakles was easily excitable. She was always ready to fight, fuck, or buy Meg a new toga. What a cutie.

“We wait until the princess rolls in with the high tide.”

Herakles pouted. Patience was a heavenly virtue the young heroine struggled with. She removed her cape and laid it out on the sand. She sat down, patting the space next to her.

“Sit with me?”

It was pretty nice. A nice, quiet day at the beach with her girlfriend. Pegasus amused himself by chasing the waves and any crabs that dared to get too close. Herakles told Meg about Phil's latest training regime. Doing five hundred push ups before breakfast sounded like a reasonable way to start the day. Hades might have been a slave driver but he had nothing on that perverted old goat. Herakles was lucky the Meg liked her women buff. Being carried to the bed for a few rounds of dancing the horizontal tango was a good way to get her into the mood. Meg got to dominate one of the toughest chicks this side of Sparta. It was doing wonders for her ego.

“I think I see something moving out there,” Herakles said suddenly. Meg looked out into the water. Sure enough, a thick patch of red seaweed was slowly coming towards them. Hades mentioned his nice was a ginger. Better say something before Herakles went into attack mode.

“That's the mermaid princess. Hey, Ariel! We're over here! Swim towards the shoreline,” Meg shouted. She was amazed by the beauty of Triton's daughter. Long, red hair and green eyes the color of deep sea where she lived. Not to mention that sea shell bra left absolutely nothing to the imagination.  
Herakles pointedly cleared her throat.

“Remember what we came here for, Megs.”

“Don't worry, babe. You're still my number one girl. I've just never seen a mermaid before.”

The couple walked over to where Ariel had beached herself on the shoe. Her tail twitched nervously as the approached.

“You must be Princess Ariel of Atlantica. My name is Herakles, heroine in training. This is my partner Megara, vassal to Hades. We have been summoned by the gods of Olympus to assist you,” Herakles said. She actually made it sound like a divine mission instead of a fools' errand. Those speech lessons were paying off. Maybe Herakles could convince Hades to give Meg some more vacation time.

“The gods sent humans to come talk to me? Grandpa must have gotten Daddy to see reason. This is so exciting! Tell me all about human things. I want to know everything, what you eat, and how you walk around on this leg things,” Ariel said.

“We're not exactly human, honey. Herakles is a goddess while I'm more of a...spirit of vengeance if you will. We didn't fly all this way to play twenty questions,” Meg replied.

Ariel looked like a kid who got caught with her hand stuck in the candy jar. Why did she agree to this again? Oh, right eternal servitude until she repented for her sins. What a ripoff. Meg nudged Herakles towards the despondent mermaid. She was better at all that comforting nonsense.

“Look Ariel, it might be hard to hear this but humans and merpeople aren't meant to be together. If your prince found out about who and what you were, you'd put your entire civilization at risk. I'm afraid there are somethings that man was not meant to know,” Herakles said.

“Do these things include true love and happiness?”Ariel challenged. When she raised her voice the seashells seemed in danger of slipping off. Herakles looked uncomfortable. Whether it was from the imminent peepshow or Ariel's question was anyone's guess.

“No, not really.”

“What about destiny?”

“Um, look the gods have decided-”

“I don't care what any jerk on a cloud says. I want freedom. I want to find love. I want to explore the world of humans. So you can just...Leave!”

Meg had to hand it to the girl, she was firm in her beliefs. Standing up to the pantheon took a great deal of guts and idiocy. It was obvious nothing was going to change her mind. Certainly not a pair of strangers who shouldn't be bothering her in the first place. Watching Herakles struggle was funny at first, now Meg just wanted to get back to her books.

“Here's the deal, princess. Your old man's never going to let you and your boy toy live happily ever after. You're going to want to find a way to get what you want without Triton getting in your way.”  
“How am I supposed to do that?”

“You didn't hear it from me but there's this witch at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench...”

* * *

 

“A sea witch, really?” Hades yelled. His flame expanding and raising the room temperature several degrees.

Meg was back in the comfort of her own home. And Hades was still bothering her. How many more centuries of dealing with this before she was forgiven? Too many.

“You told me to handle it how ever I see fit. She wasn't going to listen to us. Kids gotta learn one way or another. I figure if this Prince Eric is as great as she claims he'll rescue her,” Meg said. Not like she cared. Besides, Ariel was a demigoddess. Someone was bound to go after her eventually. Hopefully someone who wasn't Meg.

“I mean, hey it's fine. Selling your soul builds character. Except for the part where it ends up down here! Do you have any how bad it will look if Poseidon's granddaughter ends up in the River Styx?”

“Said it before and I will say it again, sounds like a personal problem. Do it yourself if you're so worried. I don't plan on moving until after I finish this chapter.”

“Alright then, I guess I will. I have to do everything myself!” Hades fumed. He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

“Bring me back some calamari,” Meg sneered. Mighty and powerful gods? What a joke.


End file.
